At the Movies with Lauren: The Golden Compass

Disclaimer: This is a blog for all of those people who don't want to see certain movies, but would like to know what happens in them so they can relate in conversations. Believe me, it comes in handy. However, my blog will tell the movie EXACTLY as it is in theaters, so I don't recommend reading this if you are in fact going to see the movie, as it will RUIN the end for you. So, that's my spoiler alert.

The Golden Compass

So there's another planet that's just like ours except its all CGI-y and every person has half a soul. The other half of their soul is stuck in an animal and it talks and follows the other half of the soul around. It's called a daemon. The animals are made of dust. Space dust. And apparently, dust is magical or something and there's a government that hates dust.
Well, when you're a kid, your daemon can change into whatever it wants and that's cool and everything, but it never changes into anything important. Not one animal in the whole movie turned into an anaconda, dragon, or AK-47.
There's this one really annoying girl named Lyra and all she wants is to hang out with her best friend Roger and Billy and they're all pals. But then Nicole Kidman comes and is really creepy and her daemon is a scary little monkey. Nicole Kidman and Lyra travel towards the north pole for some reason.
Lyra finds a piece of paper that proves Nicole Kidman has been kidnapping kids. Lyra runs away from Nicole Kidman, only to find Billy's mom and a gang of creepy norweigans who have a boat. Oh yeah, Billy and Roger were captured and taken to the North Pole by Nicole Kidman.
Nicole Kidman is upset that the girl discovered her plan and sent some bugs after her, but the bugs were caught with glass cups and Lyra didn't die. Because the bugs could kill you.
Oh, wait, did I mention Lyra got a golden compass? Well, it's not important.
Anyhoo, Lyra goes to the north pole to rescue Roger and Billy with her gang of Norweigans, a cowboy named Lee, and a giant talking Polar Bear.
The Polar Bear gets into a scrap along the way and fights another giant talking bear, rips his jaw off and breaks his neck with his teeth. Apparently, the target audience for this movie was NOT the 6 and under as I previously assumed.
Anyway, long story short, Lyra and pals have a great battle and rescue the kids and everything's okay. Except there's a whole bunch of unresolved questions and problems that were supposed to be dealt with in the sequel. However, with the economy how it is, a sequel is unlikely.

The End.

This has been "At the Movies with Lauren." Tune in next time!