At the Movies With Lauren: Twilight

Disclaimer: This is a blog for all of those people who don't want to see certain movies, but would like to know what happens in them so they can relate in conversations. Believe me, it comes in handy. However, my blog will tell the movie EXACTLY as it is in theaters, so I don't recommend reading this if you are in fact going to see the movie, as it will RUIN the end for you. So, that's my spoiler alert.

Twilight

So there's a girl named Bella who moves to a town called Forks. It rains too much and she's sad.
She also gets hit on by everyone or something and that makes her even more depressed.
But then there's a vampire with a handsome jawline named Edward. And she realizes he's smokin' hot and wants to bang him, but he doesn't know that because he can't read her mind. But he can read everyone else's minds.
One day, Bella strays from her pals and forgets where they're supposed to eat dinner or something and a serial rapist wants to... you know...
Edward actually does know. Because he can read minds.
So he shows up in his volvo and saves the day. Then the two have a romantic dinner by candlelight.
They figure out that they're both diggin' on eachother so Edward decides that he will never leave her alone again and that she's really, really important. She doesn't mind because she's uber clingy.
Then she watches a vampire baseball game and some other vampires drop by. They want to eat Bella.
Oh, did I mention Edward wants to eat her too? But it's okay, because he's diggin' on her more than he wants to eat her.
Anyway, long story short, a crazy vampire that isn't Edward breaks Bella's legs and Edward has to suck her neck, but he doesn't kill her or turn her into a vampire and she's totally okay at the end. And they go to prom.

The End.

This has been "At the Movies with Lauren." Tune in next time!